Mark of the Astro-Zombies (2004)

I wanted to but couldn't!

Clever, believable, and super fun to watch. It totally has replay value.

I am only giving this movie a 1 for the great cast, though I can't imagine what any of them were thinking. This movie was horrible

This is a dark and sometimes deeply uncomfortable drama

If this film didn't have some kind of self-conscious humor to it, it would be pretty much worthless. The production values are equivalent to MILF-hunter or a school bus safety video. But there is no exploitation really (not even on a level with the bus video). The only thing that really gave me a laugh was when the zombies were on the loose in the mall. It was nice to see Satana up there on the big screen again after all these years (but then again, I wasn't around for the first time, so why not just rent another classic Satana flick and leave this one behind?). I have the feeling this one kept everyone busy, but not much else.

This movie is literally all over the place. Aliens decide to invade earth by employing astro-zombies which run around on a rampage, unconvincingly hacking and slashing people just sitting around, basically waiting to get killed. A woman reporter (Brinke Stevens) is on the scene, as well as her boyfriend who works for the CIA (and looks about half her age), an FBI agent, plus there's some crazy 70+ Joan Collins-looking woman who insists on showing marks on her breast (Aaaak!) whenever she claims she was abducted by aliens, then there's some George Carlin-lookalike doctor who teams up with a psychic or something, plus Tura Satana (from the first Astro-Zombies movie) and her dimwit henchman who looks like Vincent D'Onofrio from MEN IN BLACK who hope to cash in on the invasion. On top of this, there's plenty of random scenes of government officials sitting around a table saying vaguely important things, plus some "doctors" chillin' in an E.R., and John Carradine's head kept alive in a lab.With so many characters and so much stuff going on, this movie is totally out of control! If I had any clue as to what was going on, I might have enjoyed it in other ways, but as it is this movie is purely for laughs. Mikels certainly has improved his style since the 60's in that his newer films are much more briskly-paced, more entertaining, and action-packed (he has a funny cameo which cleverly incorporates his earlier cameos). The special effects (including some pretty decent CGI) range from laughably terrible to surprisingly good. The acting, on the other hand, is all-round abysmal with the sole exception of the only real actor in the movie, Brinke Stevens (who looks quite good in that short skirt of hers).The problem with the movie though is that it takes itself too seriously when it's obvious it benefitted the most from the unintentional comedy. The scenes of zombies running around various industrial areas and hacking people are totally hilarious indeed, but sandwiched between too many random scenes of talking heads. The film then seems to randomly cut back and forth between the many subplots, and the same zombie keeps waking up in the alien spaceship a total of about five times. Even sillier is how so much of the actors' screaming is obviously ADR, so much clearer than the regular dialog, which is often either muffled or rendered inaudible due to the constant loud music. Only the scenes involving Satana seem to be intentionally funny. I don't know how to sum this one down - it felt like I sat through 8 movies at once; bewildering, confusing, laughable, yet somehow very entertaining. It has a great beginning, ending, and some scenes in the middle, which is the best one can really expect for a movie obviously shot with no money but a lot of enthusiasm.Much better than the first film, which was 88 minutes of characters standing around explaining to each other how the Astro-Zombies work, and 2 minutes of killin'. This one's more like 20 minutes of killing, 20 minutes of aliens, and 30 minutes of characters talking to each other and looking confused, then 15 minutes of cars driving around and various other random stuff.Too bad MST3K missed out on this one - it's ten times funnier by itself than most of their better episodes.

What a pleasure to roller coaster your way through this latest Ted V. Mikels flick! If you're a fan of Ted's previous work...or just a fan of the nostalgia of invading nefarious aliens such as were standard in the '50's and '60's...you'll have fun with this movie. It's got a variety of alien life forms, some evil, some benevolent....and of course the Astro Zombies are back (remember their first time 'round, in the original ASTRO ZOMBIES in '68?). They're running amuck again, slashing, chopping, slicing and dicing innocent citizens right and left! Nifty blood/weapons/wounds, by the way. Kudos to the fx team!Plot? Don't get uptight about it. Go with the flow! Invaders from outer space are up to no good, human villainess and her henchman are up to no good, and the good guys are trying to get a handle on it all. The joy of this film is in its amusing dialog and wonderful cast. Brinke Stevens is pretty as a picture and makes a very warm and appealing heroine. Tura Satan, perhaps best remembered from the cult classic FASTER, PUSSYCAT, KILL, KILL, is a welcome and delightfully wicked "dragon lady" type, whether wielding threatening weapons or slapping the bejeezus out of her dull-witted comic (but dangerous) sidekick, which she does frequently. It's wonderful to see another cult classic actress, Liz Renay, as the kooky, publicity-seeking "I was attacked by aliens!" gal. Liz is very funny in this role....and it's sure great to see how this lady, who was once considered a twin to Marilyn Monroe, has remained a vibrant and engaging screen personality (by the way...remember her in John Waters' DESPERATE LIVING?). And you get a little bonus in this film, too...check out a brief scene by director Mikels himself as a mad, mad, mad scientist who converses with "the head of Dr. De Marco". Lots of laughs!Just grab this one for the fun-filled ride. No deep thoughts necessary...it's an Ed Woods-type romp in low budget scifi. See it with friends...laugh and hoot and holler...it may not be Shakespeare...but it's fun!

I have always been a fan of old classic movies and even the grade B horror and science fiction films. I have grown tired of modern action films with one explosion after another. The digitally created creatures, climbing walls and slithering across ceilings have left me yearning for a simpler time of well developed characters being chased by men in monster suits. The most frightening movie monsters are usually kept in the shadows and developed in the viewer's imagination.I just finished watching Mark of the Astro-Zombies and it is an excellent film. The camera angles and editing were wonderful. The story moved along at a great pace with cuts between scenes of actors talking and scenes of blood crazed Astro-zombies hacking everyone in sight.Brinke Stevens gave a wonderful performance as Cindy Natale. Her pseudo-documentary portrayal of a newswoman out for a story worked very well in the film. And, she looks totally HOT in her short skirt. Tura Satana returned to battle Astro-Zombies and match wits with Dr. DeMarco. She was excellent in her scenes. Her argument with Dr. DeMarco was brilliant. She provided an excellent death scene for Ted V. Mikels in a cameo role.Robert Taylor as the talking head of Dr. DeMarco did the late John Carradine (Dr. DeMarco from Astro-Zombies in 1967) a wonderful justice. I think Mr. Carradine would have enjoyed watching that scene. Robert's lines were witty and clever and spoken like a true Shakespearian actor. The lovely Nina Tepes treats the viewers to a lovely and tasteful nude scene (back side nudity).The music and digital effects really gave the movie extra polish. The digital skulls and flying saucer were truly impressive. Jay Gowey's zombie masks and especially the head of Dr. DeMarco photographed very well. There were no actor's mouths visible with these Astro-Zombie masks. His fast and high quality work really came through for this film.Don't miss this movie.Bravo Ted!!Dennis