Fishtales (2008)

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

Although the plot is somewhat predictable, this is actually a very original comedy with some gutsy and very funny performances - especially from the strong supporting cast, that includes a very diverse range of actors. A spirited performance also by Kelly Brook. Her transformation from the haughty, dignified mermaid goddess into the whimpering lovesick fool - who stalks her love interest by camouflaging herself with a bush - is very funny. In fact, this modern Greek love tale would have been almost touching, if it would not have been so chaotic and comical.

Dr. Thomas Bradley (Billy Zane) is a bumbling Oxford University professor of classical Greece. He is given one more summer to finish his database of ancient Greek. Another professor offers him a villa in Spetses, Greece. He travels there with his 12 year old daughter Serena. Captain Mavros sends him overboard. Thomas can't swim and he's rescued by mermaid Neried (Kelly Brook). Serena is looking for love for his father and asks Neried to translated old writings.This is sort of like a bad kids movie. It's got sloppy slapstick. Billy Zane is wrong for a bumbling professor but the little girl is perfectly fine. I can't believe this got shown in Cannes. That is the last place to show this. This is a weakly made kids fantasy. It's more straight to video.

It is entertaining, yes, comic, made me giggle a few times. And the mermaid actress, Kelly Brook, is dead gorgeous. Her tale is a magnificent prop. And that is about it. This accounts for the two stars.None of the characters makes any sense. They are all collages of different personalities. And with them, the plot keeps flipping randomly as well.Amber Savva, the little girl, is such a bad actress it is annoying. Her character is a good swimmer, and yet makes no attempt at all to rescue her drowning father. She has a security-blanket bracelet she fondles with constantly in the beginning, but she doesn't notice it is lost till half a day has passed. There is a visible attempt to make her pass for a mature girl, but all the inconsistencies flunk this.Her father is such a confused and weak-willed fellow I don't know how he survived high-school, let alone become a professor near an intellectual break-through.This old Greek servant, if she doesn't live in the house, why was she there one time at night? Why don't people leave their clothes and wallets on a safe place at the beach instead of practically under the waves? This book on the mermaids is said to be really really very old, and yet there are Art Nouveau paintings on the pages. And etc.There is a strong hint that the mermaid is the lost daughter of the elderly professor, and that he knew of mermaids and had mated with one, and yet, nothing comes of it. There is a strong hint that the bad fisherman (played by the director Alki David himself) drowns and his good son will be adopted by the heroes, but no either. There is claim on the tail's jewels, and yet we hardly see them. There is no reason for a special breathing shell for swimming underwater if the wonder-cave is a few meters from shore and above water level. And etc.With all these reality flaws, I seriously doubt there is any fundamental truth or logic in the professor's studies on the Classical Greek spells and poems. I mean, the actors don't even look in the correct direction at times...!It is sad: the story could have been really pretty, but the characters and the plot were so ill-developed you can't but wonder which fourth-grader took over David's mind....I have just noticed: the movie is from 2007! Fancy that? I thought it was some twenty years old. Mr. David, get your story straight, and film it again properly. It will make a lovely movie.

Dr. Thomas Bradley (Billy Zane) is a typical absent-minded professor. Writing a book about the lore and language of ancient Greece, he is having trouble, nonetheless, meeting deadlines. His young daughter, Serena, is at a loss about how to help him. At the college's direction, Dr. Bradley is told to travel to the Greek isles and finish his book at the appropriate time. Unfortunately, Thomas is a bit of a scaredy-cat when it comes to the sea and he can't swim, so the prospect of a working vacation surrounded by water doesn't please him. Yet, once he and his daughter arrive at their destination, Dr. Bradley does find the atmosphere quite nice. So does Serena. In fact, Serena meets a beautiful neried (Kelly Brook), a classical name for mermaid, on the shore and is fascinated by her new acquaintance. The young girl is soon determined to "match" the mermaid to her father, despite the fact that the water-lady only has legs after sunset. Then, too complications arrive when a native Greek gentleman begins following the foreigners, for his grandson has told him a mermaid has been seen on the shore near their house. Will the professor finish his book in time and will he be interested in romance, too? This was quite a lovely film for those fans of light romance. The cast is nice, with Zane giving a fine comical turn as the professor and Brook utterly gorgeous and dry-witted as the neried. All other cast members give talented turns, too. Naturally, the scenery in Greece is beautiful beyond measure and the costumes, production values, script and direction are worthy, too. But, although the movie is touted as an acceptable family film, some parents might object to the daughter's occasional back-talk and the use of words like "a-hole". All in all, however, kids will probably enjoy it, especially young girls. Therefore, if you or yours love humorous romance and sweet stories, here is a tale to bring home someday soon. There's nothing fishy in saying a good time will be had by all, young and old alike.